Memory Revisited…

It was raining ‘cats and dogs’ for the last four days. I had to visit a patient in a hospital. Went there and as I was told before, donated one unit of blood... not for the first time though. Coming from the hospital, it was a perfect Sunday afternoon for taking rest with a ‘poetic downpour’ outside which was getting heavier with seconds. Though I was a bit weak but did feel that it was raining for me only…felt like it was calling me to share my every bit of pain I was carrying... My roommates tried hard to stop me but I insisted… they said that I am sick. Tu sale pagal hai, marega tu toh..Had they ever knew that what happened ever after, they would have kicked me out from there or called my family…

                It was knee height water everywhere and the rain was still on… not a single person out there… Bijlee bhi chamak rahi thi jor jor se… jaise JIHAD pe laga tha pura DHARTI toh..! Sare mahollewale ajib nazar se dekh reh the mujhe balcony se… Main ahista ahista paas wale flyover pe ake khada ho gaya.. baju wale flat ke chhat pe ek banda mujhe flyover ke upar dekh ke chauk gaya… he was taking shower under the rain. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “The same thing you are doing out there.” I smiled. He told me to go back as it was getting worse outside. Kuch der mere saath chikh chikh ke baat kar ke wo niche chale gaye.. I was feeling heavenly…Lots of memories were running inside… I was missing someone like hell… I found myself crying… it was getting louder and louder…Aur ye sawan bhi mera saath de rehi thi puri tarah se... jaise mujhe gale lagake khud bhi ro rahi ho... I settled down after sometime… Barish bhi kuch kam hote ja raha tha… thode dur dekha do bande ek bike pe ake khade ho gaye…  main unke paas gaya. They were drinking beer… “Ek milega boss?” I asked without smiling. Wo log kuch nehi pucha. Ye bhi nehi ke main hun kaun..! sayed unhe kuch laga hoga ajib sa… Main pura pee gaya… bad me pucha tha wo log ke main hun kaun… Maine apna naam bataya tha.. they were local guys…

          Coming back, I took a fresh shower. Lying on my bed I called my dearest friend who knows everything about me… maine fut fut ke roya… phir kab so gaya tha  pata hi nehi chala… bad me wo mujhe bata raha tha ke maine bina phone cut kar ke so gaya tha… I told him everything I did that day… bahut gali diya tha mujhe…

Barish ab bhi ho raha tha.. maine apna diary uthaya, aur likha…


Sukoon...
Jaise bahut dino bad koi jee bharke khudke hone ka ehsaas dila raha ho…
Jaise kafi waqt ke bad apno se mil raha ho koi…Do bahe khol ke gale laga raha ho jaise..
Aur phir alag hone ka mann hi na ho…
Accha lagta hai na! samne koi aise dilojaan se milte hai to…!

Baras le,  jee bharke baras le aye sawan, mil le apne pritam se…




Ehsaas…
Ye sawan jine nehi degi lag raha hai…
Bahut dino ke bad jaise kisiko yaad dilane ke liye aye wo..
Jaise chikh chikh ke bol raha ho “main jaisi thi waise hi hun,
Lekin tum kaha yaad karte ho mujhe pehli ki tarah…
Jab main ati hun dekh ke lagta hai mere liye hi baithe the tum dil tham ke… par bulaye nehi mujhe..na jane kiun..!
Phir main aa gira… Sare apne sikhwe gile piche chhod ke. Sare abhiman bhula ke…
Raha nehi gaya mujhse.. bhale hi tum nehi pukare…